Nobody's Home

[LoneWolf]

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

I walked down the hallways of the high school toward the principals office. Another fight had erupted in class today when someone started talking about my none existent family.

“Where's your mom? In jail, dead? If she's anything like you I'd say jail.” The girl taunted.

“Where do you live then? Huh? Since you never get picked up here. Come on tell us. Or do you live in the woods like an animal?” Another joined in.

“Well she's always got those weird mice and cats and whatever else following her.” The first replied flicking me on the back of my head. “It's all in her head. She's completely crazy.”

“No I'm not...” I muttered unable to ignore them anymore.

“Look it speaks!” A third called out.

“Careful her dad's probably a criminal and might come after us if we make her mad.” The second added.

“Shut up!” I snapped whipping around.

“Look I was right! I must be to make her snap like that.” The second replied.

When I tried to walk away the first tripped me and the fight started.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

Now here I was with only two of the girls. The one that had started it was in the nurses office with a bloody nose and possibly black eye. I had lost my temper and really gotten into a fight with that girl. The other two were cowards and got the teacher.

“Kanya Willow. You've gotten into yet another fight. What is it this time?” The principal asked.

I didn't look up. “I'd rather not explain... Just give me my punishment.” I muttered. The girl had picked me in the shin and I had a bruise there. But no one would notice and I rather not be in worse terms with the girls.

“Not this time. I'm calling your pa-guardian.” The principal almost said parents. I just know it. It bother me the way I was treated by everyone. Teachers included.

There were looks being shot at me by the two other girls. I didn't talk to anyone so it was basically only the teachers and the principal that knew about my parents...

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

My 'guardian' was a woman that knew about what I was. But where she lived wasn't my home. I couldn't have my real home until I was eighteen and a legal adult. All the kids in this school with parents, which was about all, didn't know how lucky they are to have their parents.

I only remember a little bit about my parents. My mom was nice... Friendly. My dad was like a guardian angel. My family first broke apart when my father left to go to the army and became missing in action. They never found a body or anything. My mom was broken by this.

I wasn't much better but I had to be strong for mom. But the next thing I knew... Mom was gone. I came home to an empty house. For about a month I didn't tell anyone. Until a neighbor found out that I was alone and called who ever took me out of the house. All I remember about that is putting up a big fight.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

The only friend I had was a boy. People frequently made fun of me for it. But I wasn't sure how to deal with it all together. I felt like I was breaking... Dieing on the inside. Since I was a foster child I was moved a lot. I thought the family in this area with my friend, Yoshiaki, would last forever. At least a few years.

I was far from right.

“Yes. I know... We can't do it any more. She's in fights every week. I know. Yes just please... Thank you. I'll get her ready. Yeah we still don't know what that's about. The animals. Mm hm. Yes.”

I listened from the hallway. She came out to look at me. There was no guilt or sadness in her eyes as she basically rejected me. I just wanted to go home now, to my real home. Not this foster home that I was about to leave.

I was clueless as to where I would go. But now I ended up here. With this woman who explained my ability to understand animals and speak to them through my mind. I still don't know how this helped me see where I belonged. Or helped me get over missing my only friend...

Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

Many days passed that I wouldn't speak to anyone. The woman told me she had the power to read minds. But she couldn't grasp mine. She thought it was because my ability lay in my mind. I still think it was because my mind had detached itself from my body and seemingly everything.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

I didn't gain any new friends. It was always just me. Another thing I wanted... It was impossible but I wanted to figure out what happened to my mother and father. Or at least my mother. I searched the library and even tried the local police station of several different cities and towns. But none knew about my mother. None could help me. I never told my foster mother about these visits. I simply told her I wanted to walk around while she shopped and such.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

No matter what I did at school. I got into fights and trouble. But Sarah, my foster mother, never seemed to care. She actually got me out of some of the trouble in school. I still couldn't deal with what life threw at me. I actually thought about running away. Some time I even wondered why I stayed alive. Why should I live where I'm not needed? In a world that shuns me and throws everything bad at me.

The next thing that I didn't ever want to happen. Would be that Sarah was taken from me. She at least partially understood what I was going through at times. No matter what I've said to her or not said she still stuck with it and helped me through the hardest of things.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

It has happened. Possibly the last terrible thing that could happen to the living me...

I was no longer allowed to stay with my foster mother. I was being taken to a boarding school. At the age of fifteen. I was horrified when they told me this over the phone. That last fight at school. The one that I bloodied the girls nose and blackened her eye. That's the one that got me taken away again.

Now I'm truly lost. Even more. This boarding school is supposed to be for kids like me. Sarah picked it out so I'm assuming it's one for kids with 'abilities'. But I still don't want to go... The more I get taken away the further they take me from my first and real home. I just want to go back. I could easily live alone if the society would let me. But nothing wants to work out. So I'll be like this till the end of my life...

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...

((Sort of a work in progress. XP))